The USDA has announced in a Press Release a set of actions and initiatives focused on Canada Geese (Branta canadensis), called “Operation FAGA, Feed America Geese Again.”  The first action in this initiative is changing the name of the bird to America Geese. “Since the majority of the birds are in America, it’s only natural to call them America Geese” said HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

According to the press release, since there are a high population of America Geese in most parts of America, USDA’s second step in the initiative to replace ultra processed foods in school lunches with America Geese meat. Drake Larsen, a researcher in sustainable agriculture at Iowa State University, described them to The Atlantic magazine as “so yummy… good, lean, rich meat. I find they are similar to a good cut of beef.”

“FAGA is in line with MAHA (Make America Healthy Again)” added Secretary Kennedy. “The USDA will use all resources and authorities at its disposal to make sure America Geese products are safe and wholesome for the families and children who rely on them.”

When Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney learned of the bird’s name change, he commented “The animals are loud, obnoxious and make a mess everywhere they go. I guess the name fits!”

Editors note: No animal was injured in the publishing of this fake news. Photo credit: Rick Biros